April 7, 2011

One year ago, was a day we'll never forget.  We entered Dr. Forseter's office, so excited to see, and maybe even hear, our baby's heartbeat.  We were 7 weeks pregnant.  We had been there once before, and were ecstatic to be at our second appointment... hoping the baby would pull through and have that fluttering heartbeat that Dr. Forseter promised us three weeks prior.  And nothing could have prepared us for what we saw:

"There they are." said Dr. Forseter.  Like it was no biggy.  Like, "There's your sunglasses."  I remember him babbling after that about how "it's in the water" and we were like the 5th couple that week who found out they were pregnant with twins.  But in my mind, all I could think of was we don't have room for two cribs. We just don't.  We absolutely don't.

But, true to our expectations for the appointment, we were able to see the heartbeat! Heartbeats.  The babies looked perfect. 

We left his office dumbfounded.  Where do we start?  Who do we tell?  Is it okay to tell this early? Who has twins? How are we going to afford two babies?  We were still getting used to the idea of one baby.

This has been the craziest year of my life.  Pregnancy, in and of itself, is a special time that you probably don't appreciate until it's over.  Strangers see you in public and just smile.  And now I look at the maternity racks at stores and pout my bottom lip just a little bit because there's nothing else like it in your life.  Being pregnant. 

And anticipating twins was exciting, of course.  But also scary.  By default, it's a high-risk pregnancy.  I counted down the days to my next appointment so I could see those two heartbeats again.  People, mostly strangers, felt the need to share their Twin horror stories, of which I can't even think about, yet dare tell any of you.   And on top of worrying about the babies, I was worried about my own health and weight.  And CONSTANTLY worried about sleeping on my back.  But I couldn't help it!

Then ... October rolled around.  The babies were here in an instant.  Earlier than desirable.  We were parents of preemies who had to stay in the NICU while we went home without them.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done, leaving them.  But it was somehow easy.  They were in more capable hands than my own.  I was getting more rest than if they were with us at home.  This situation, in a way, eased us into parenthood.  We could see them when we wanted.  But we also still had time to go home a take a long nap.  It lasted two weeks.  And then we were finally all at home together.

After 8 weeks of maternity leave, I went back to work.  IAnd I was ready.  Caring for two infants is quite a lot of work.  Certainly harder than my day job.  So, as bad as I wanted to stay with them, I also wanted to leave them.  [I've been told to not feel guilty about this so I choose not to].

And today, we've got 6 month olds!!  It doesn't seem possible that they are so big and smiley and interactive.  One year ago they were like, what?  The size of an olive or something?   And they are 15 lb 9 oz now.  That's pretty remarkable. 

That's quite a year, huh?  I am so grateful for the many blessings in the last year.  The girls are beautiful and healthy and they've got a great daddy who takes good care of all of us.  We've been blessed in countless ways.